The Honorable Cristy "Fast Eddie" Swindler


Faux-Mayor Swindler

I want to welcome you all to Mankato, Minnesota. Trust me, I am your mayor. We like to call Mankato "The City to Build In". We will allow you to build anything, anywhere and do anything with it you want! Yes, we are a friendly town! And I run it...

We have recently acquired a new snow plow. It cost lots of money. We are very careful. We will not use it in the winter. In this way, the streets will remain impassible - except by my house - and we will not damage the snow plow or get it all wet. We are on the taxpayers side. Money is no object to me. I am instituting a new "Name the Street, Public Building, Whatever..." campaign. Just donate money to the "Swindler Educational Trust" and pick your street, buiding, whatever... and name!

Faux-Mayor Swindler's Secretary Ms. "Kups" Wazoos (above left and center)
after recouperating from her recent slipadictome operation.
Faux-Mayor Swindler did not do as well.


City Council members have a brief laugh during one of their meetings.


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